Tattlebugs

Hoooo, boy, you would not believe how much trouble Tark is in!  Dad was so embarrassed by his behavior that he grounded Tark for six months!  And when a fairy is grounded, he is actually grounded.  Tark isn’t allowed to fly except for to and from school, and if he deviates even slightly from his prescribed flight plan a tattlebug will alert Mom and Dad.

What do you mean, you’ve never heard of a tattlebug?  Just because your scientists have never seen something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  It just means it’s smart. 

A tattlebug is, not surprisingly, a bug that likes to tattle.  They look a little like houseflies, only their eyes are about twice as big—the better to spy on you with, my dear!  Most baby tattlebugs get shoved out of the nest before they’re even two hours old because their mothers get so sick of hearing them tattle on each other.  By the time they are full-grown, which only takes about a day, they will tell on themselves if they do something wrong!  They are incredibly annoying, but they are also quite useful for people who want to know what other people are doing.  If you get a tattlebug assigned to you, you can’t get away with anything!

While the thought of Tark having to live with a tattlebug for six months fills me with indescribable joy, it does mean I’ll have to be extra careful about sneaking out to use Melissa’s phone.  If Tark behaves himself, the tattlebug will get bored and start watching me.  I’m probably worrying about nothing, though—Tark can’t behave for two minutes!

Meanwhile, at school Tark and his friends are being called the “Crazy Eight,” because there were eight of them and well, their actions speak for themselves.  I can’t quite figure out if the name is supposed to be a compliment or an insult.  They were made to scrub off all of the rude things they painted on the school walls and nearby trees.  I guess it never occurred to them that paint made from orange pollen and tree sap would be really hard to remove once it set! They have to stay after school two hours a day to chip away at the sap until it’s all gone.  Other kids wander by, occasionally shouting “Bottoms’ up, Mr. Mayor!” and laughing their heads off.  Such fun.

Unfortunately, Tark’s unusual schedule and the constant natter of the tattlebug is putting Mom in a horrible mood.  I mean, you can only stand so much of a constant stream of things like “Mrs. Brownwing, Mrs. Brownwing, Tark’s picking his nose again!” before you go stark raving mad.  Mom’s trying to convince Dad to get rid of the tattlebug, but he’s still too mad.  All I can say is, Dad had better get Mom something pretty spectacular for Mothers’ Day this year!

Speaking of Mothers’ Day, I have absolutely no idea what to get her this year.  None at all.