We had to endure yet another tirade at school today. Encouraged by my brother and his unspeakable friends, kids have started painting all kinds of rude things on the school walls. “Bottoms’ up, Mr. Mayor!” is a favorite, of course, but some of them get a little more imaginative. The latest one was about Mrs. Elderberry and Mr. Swallowtail kissing, and now I can’t get the horrible image out of my head! Mrs. Elderberry was literally vibrating with rage as she lambasted the entire student body, accusing us all of being disrespectful hooligans and demanding that the guilty parties turn themselves in. She actually threatened to cancel the school dance!
“She can’t do that, can she?” Titania whispered in my ear. “Wouldn’t the whole school board have to vote on it?”
“If you were on the school board, would you dare vote against the Elderberry?”
“Do you think they really kissed?” We both dissolved into shuddering giggles.
“NO TALKING!” Mrs. Elderberry’s voice made us both jump about a foot. “This is just what I was talking about, you children have no respect, no sense of right or wrong, no—“
I won’t bore you with the rest, but there was a lot of it. Titania and I both got detentions, along with some others who caught our case of the giggles and two boys in the back row who were making kissing noises. All in all, it was more entertaining than most of our assemblies, even if about half of us landed in detention. I’m afraid Mrs. E. left feeling angrier than she had been at the start, though. It doesn’t bode well for the dance. Oh, well, nobody was going to ask me, anyway.
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