School today. YAWN!!! Our principal, old Mrs. Elderberry (and I do mean old--she has to be at least 10,000 years and counting!) decided once again to make the whole school assemble in Big Stump Hall to endure another of her endless rants. Her topic of choice today: Wingism.
I should explain. Different fairies have different types of wings. Some, known as Papilliae, have wings that mimic the local butterfly population. Others, like the Odonatae, mimic dragonflies. These are the two main wing types, but there are others. We're all fairies and it doesn't really make any difference, but of course some people have to go and cause problems.
Some of the Odonatae in our school started calling the Papilliae "Butterbutts." Naturally the insulted butterfly-winged fairies could not let this go without a response, so somebody started calling the Odonatae "Skeeterbrains." Very, very mature.
It caught on like a rash, and soon every single wing type had its own rude word associated with it. Mrs. Elderberry wants it to stop, so she told us all about it during what was supposed to be our lunch break.
Honestly! After spending a delightful morning listening to Mr. Swallowtail drone on and on about Ancient Lore, we had to spend our entire lunch break listening to Mrs. Elderberry go on about "everyone being fairies no matter what our wings looked like" and "equality of the fairie folk." Yada yada, rant rant rant. She finished up by giving us a list of the newly-banned wingist slurs, and said that anyone caught using one of them would be kept after school to shovel up bat guano left in the school clearing by commuter bats.
It won't make any difference, of course. I could have told Mrs. Elderberry that people will just come up with new names! But nooooo, instead of having a nice chat with our friends, we had to eat our lunches listening to her moan.
To add insult to injury, my brother Tark deliberately bumped into me as I was leaving the Hall to go to an oh-so-interesting hour of Fairie Gold Math.
"Don't worry, Sis, you'll never be called a Butterbutt. You've already got a nickname!" he laughed as I scrambled to pick up my books.
"Bat butt!" cheered one of his trollish pals. See my first post for the explaination of this jem.
I had no choice but to punch Tark in the face, which of course is right when Mrs. Elderberry came waddling out of the Hall. She gave me half an hour's detention for fighting.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, life is NOT fair.
I agree with Mrs. Elderberry that the name calling is not nice. No need to hurt any fairy feelings.
ReplyDeleteWow, a punch in the face by Fiona must have surprised Tark.
Today Fiona did non act like the mouse she describes herself as looking like.
I wouldn't want her to act like a mouse anyway. :)