Field Trip

Some good news, at last!  Today we were given permission slips for our parents to sign for a field trip next week.  I know, I know, all school field trips are terribly dull, but, hey, it's better than listening to another long lecture on fairy lore or some other unbearable topic.  And this one might actually be interesting--we're all going to pile onto great blue herons and ride to the Olympic Range Dwarf Mine.

I should explain how the whole bird-riding thing works.  When fairies need to go further or faster than they can go by flying themselves, they ride on birds.  Now, many birds see fairies as something that belong on a menu, so only certain types of birds can be trusted--and they have to be paid in whatever type of food they like best (except fairy, obviously!)

For short trips we like to use bats, since we're too big for bats to eat but they are willing to carry us for tokens they can exchange for passes to our insect farms.  Most of the bat trade goes to fairies who have been out drinking honey, which is intoxicating to fairies. (I've heard that it doesn't have the same effect on humans, but that you have your own fun beverages.)  For fairies, nectar is OK to drink any time, but mix it with bee spit and it makes us go completely loopy.  Drunk fairies have a way of flying into trees and buzzing cats, which is a recipe for disaster!  The Honey Control Board, of which my father is unfortunately a member, has tried over the years to convince fairies to hire bats to take them home after a big night out.  This is the origin of those annoying "Drink a Vat, Call a Bat" ads that earned me the charming nickname BatButt.  Why couldn't my father have a different, less embarrassing job?

For groups, we usually hire cranes or herons, who can carry up to 20 fairies at a time in exchange for fish.  The school is hiring herons for our trip next week.  I wish they didn't smell so, well, fishy!  Still, anything to get out of class!

I'm kind of excited to see the Olympic Mine, because that's where they say Queen Maeve's crown was forged.  I'm sure they've got lots of beautiful treasures!  I wonder if they have a gift shop?  I could use a little tiara for the upcoming spring ball...